The last couple weeks I have been contemplating this question:
Is it better to make the wrong decision or no decision at all?
I am not sure, is the answer but I am tired of waiting around for the right opportunity so we are going to make an offer on a nice 7 acre property a couple of miles from where I grew up. Which I have some mixed feelings about but again, I am tired of waiting around. Vacant lots in our price range are starting to sell.
It is a lot that is hilly and gravelly in parts. And I am already thinking of all the great stuff I can plant there. I am not sure where we will live or if the farm service agency will actually lend us the money or if our conditional use permit will be approved so that we can put up a shed or hoophouses. So many ways in which this could go wrong and cost us a lot of money. Also so many ways it could go right. Cross your fingers for me.
At this time last year I was being cautiously optimistic about my future as a flower farmer. I had decided that my fourth year in business had gone alright. Good enough to continue for another year but not good enough to make any plans beyond that. I had worked a lot of hours and I broke even financially. But I was beginning to question the personal sustainability of this path. I needed more land if if I wanted to make more money. I needed more money if I wanted to get more land. I was uncertain if this situation was going to work itself out. I told my husband that if things didn’t get appreciably better in the coming year I would quit. I’m not sure what I was going to do if I quit. I knew that I could not continue to spend so much time and money on this endeavor if it would not actually provide me with a career that would benefit my life now and in the future. Considering I hope to have a lot of future ahead of me, this is an important detail.
One year later and I am still in business, I did not quit, things did get better. I made a profit. I am full of optimism and quite a bit of anxiety over the coming year. We have been looking at farms for over two years but never really had the money to cover a loan payment of that size. Well now we do and the search is on.